14> Management reserves the right to beat senseless anyone suggesting we get a karaoke machine.
13> No stirring someone else’s drink with your buffalo wing bones.
12> True happiness only. Satisfaction, beatitude, and gruntlement are not acceptable.
11> Friday drink special: $2 “Sex Out Of Reach” shots
10> Make sure your Secret Service henchmen hide your empties from Laura.
9> Anyone who’s not happy will be beaten with pool cues until they become happy.
8> When falling off chair, do not block aisleways to jukebox or restroom.
7> We welcome our NRA and Girl Scout drinking buddies!
6> Strict 5-drink limit is means somewhere around 12 to 15 drinks.
5> Absolutely no Sally Struthers.
4> Good bar trick: Tying a knot in a cherry stem using only your tongue.
Bad bar trick: Unzipping your pants using only your tongue.
3> Designated drivers drink free all night!
2> Calculating the value of pi on your cocktail napkin beyond 32 decimal places won’t leave room to write the phone number of the girl you’re trying to impre– Hey! Where’d she go?
1> Confusing, hard to read signs on the restroom doors to be replaced with schematics of appropriate genitalia.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]