14> “And I would like to begin the annual Thanksgiving toast, Mr. President, by recounting the words of one of my favorite Jewish Country and Western songs…”
13> “Mr. President, you’re drinking the gravy again.”
12> “And now for the stuffing… hey! Who put a cigar in there?!? This is NOT funny!!”
11> “I’ll be back in a minute, Honey. I’m just going to offer the intern a little stuffing.”
10> “Roasted turkey!? Dammit, is the deep fryer broken again?”
9> “Man! Who are those hot young babes who came in with Gore and his wife?”
8> “Oh, come on, Al — you did *not* invent Thanksgiving.”
7> “God, I’d be thankful if HE were de-boned.”
6> “I did not have seconds of that dish… mashed potatoes.”
5> “Pssst… Monica, we don’t kneel to say grace.”
4> “God is great, God is good.
Oh, my God, I’ve sprouted wood.”
3> “It would not be an unforeseen event for the dryness quotient of my slain meat product to be so elevated at to suggest artificial moistening as a direction in which we may eventually want to move. Then again, if…”
“Would someone just pass Greenspan the friggin’ gravy already?!?”
2> “I’m sorry, Mr. Starr, no one here knows the Heimlich maneuver.”
1> “Pay attention, Bill: Here’s a little carving trick I learned from Lorena Bobbitt.”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]