14> “The main reason I invented the Internet was to distribute my previous invention: pornography!”
13> “Just call me Al, the happy President-to-be who makes jokes and solves political problems.”
12> “I’m so glad to be here in Iowa, because it was here that I invented corn.”
11> “I have here in my pocket today’s Top 5 List.”
10> “Together, let us cross that bridge into the 21st Century built by my worthy predecessor, and open up a can of whup-ass on the blues! Band, hit me one time!”
9> “I gotta tell ya folks… I just got finished inventing the Internet, and boy are my arms tired!”
8> “It’s the economy, Chester!”
7> “Some of my best ideas come to me when I’m driving around your beautiful city of Toledo, listening to the radio.”
6> “People of America, I KISS YOU!!!!!!!”
5> “The world today is at a crossroads; down one path are problems like fleebellism, shwarnicles, and popoputputs; and down the other path are my speech writers who borrow material from the Internet without proofreading it.”
4> “Here’s the thing that puzzles me: I have 4 kids, but Tipper and I have only had sex twice.”
3> “It’s unconscionable that, in this age of high-tech communication, I can’t put on a long, flowing gown, go out to the Rose Garden, run barefoot and writhe around in the grass, just because I feel pretty.”
2> “Four-score and seven years ago… Hey, that reminds me: Did I mention I invented Lincoln Logs?!”
1> “You want excitement? Go to Bosnia.
You want a Chief Executive, come to Daddy.”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]