14> Your name: John
Your brother’s name: John
Your other brother’s name: John
Your sister’s name: Trixie
13> Buys all his clothes at “Dennis Rodman’s House of Cool-Looking Shit.”
12> Current job: Head of the White House Intern Program.
11> Stubbornly maintains he got his pink Cadillac by selling Mary Kay.
10> Comes home from work grumbling about “that damn Roxy in the S&M Department.”
9> When he’s carving the Thanksgiving turkey, says, “$40 gets you the sweetest piece of meat you ever saw, man!”
8> Every time you breast feed, he takes $10 out of your college fund.
7> After you collect for your paper route, he demands his “taste.”
6> Charlie Sheen is your godfather.
5> You’re the only Scout in the troop whose Pinewood Derby car has ocelot seat covers.
4> His most common threat: “Don’t make me slap you — this is my day off!”
3> Like Ward Cleaver, carries a pipe. Unlike Ward Cleaver, shares his pipe with your aunts.
2> Enough about the stable already, where’s the damn pony?
1> Every Christmas and birthday present: Another big-ass medallion.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]