14. Michael “The Glove” Jackson -vs- George “The Hand” Michael
13. Bob “Hacksaw” Villa -vs- Martha “Doily Queen” Stewart
12. “The First Lady” -vs- “The Most Recent Lady”
11. Edward Scissorhands -vs- John Bobbit
10. Carrot Top -vs- Bugs Bunny
9. Drescher -vs- Gottfried — in a Zero-Contact Whine-a-thon Death Cage Match!
8. Arnold Schwarzenegger -vs- The English Language
7. Pat “Captain Vanilla” Sajak -vs- Alex “Oh, I’m Sorry” Trebek
6. Bill “The Adulterer” Clinton -vs- Bill “The Atoner” Clinton
5. Monica “Hummer” Lewinsky -vs- Orrin “We Still Call it Sodomy in This State” Hatch
4. The Norelco Santa -vs- The Mach3 Studmuffin
3. Vanilla Ice -vs- The Crips
2. Ron “McBigfoot” McDonald -vs- Colonel “Open A Can o’ Whup-Ass” Sanders
1. The predominately female and nearly naked “Baywatch” cast -vs- The predominately male and socially awkward Top5 contributors
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]