13. Top 5 Reasons Dick Clark’s Hair Is Still Brown
12. Top 5 Signs Adam Sandler is Too Old to be Re-elected President
11. Top 5 Signs Your Galactiball Team Won’t Beat the Ganymede Cosmobots This Astroyear
10. Top 5 Strom Thurmond Campaign Slogans
9. Top 5 Revived Walt Disney Pet Peeves
8. Top 5 Surprises on The Rolling Stones New Tour
7. Top 5 Signs You, Too, Might Be a Distant Relative of William Jefferson Clinton
6. Top 5 Ways To Tell Your Parents You’re Straight
5. Top 5 Benefits of the USA/Microsoft Merger
4. Top 5 Reasons to Pull the Life Support on the 110-Year-Old Olsen Twins
3. Top 5 Signs You Went Outside Without Your 250 SPF Sunblock
2. Top 5 Things You Don’t Want to Find in Your Dinner Pill
1. Top 5 Signs Your Roommate’s Sexdroid is in the Shop
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