13. Best Supporting Performance — (TIE) Catherine Zeta Jones’s bra in “The Mask of Zorro” and Salma Hayek’s bra in “54”
12. Dan Quayle Continuing-Butt-Of-The-Joke Award — Pauly Shore
11. Best Use of a “Beard” — Tom Cruise
10. Best Endorsement of Button-Fly Jeans — Ben Stiller, “There’s Something About Mary”
9. Best Attempt to Convince the Public That *Anyone* Actually Watches MSNBC — “Deep Impact”
8. Excessive Perkiness Most Likely to Cause Diabetes — Meg Ryan
7. Best Exaggerated Use of Abundant Cleavage — Jennifer Love Hewitt
6. Special Texas Chainsaw Massacre Memorial Award for Special Effects — “Saving Private Ryan”
5. Best Ongoing Celebrity Scam — The accountants from Price-Waterhouse are sad to report that they cannot reveal the winner in this category due to an injunction from the Church of Scientology.
4. Most Improved Appearance When Depicted as a Cartoon Insect — Woody Allen
3. Best Performance by a Sharpei — Walter Mathau
2. Most Successful Combination of Male Nightmares in a Movie Title — “Shakespeare in Love”
1. Best Product Placement — America Online in “You’ve Got Mail”
Best Product, um, Placement — Ben Stiller’s goo in “There’s Something About Mary”
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com]