13> Gives his age as “39, version 5.”
12> Hires someone to purchase a sports car and pursue young bimbos.
11> Spends $6 on a new hairstyle.
10> “No, honey. I didn’t say I bought *a* Porsche…”
9> Replaced the animated paper clip Office Assistant with a Hooters waitress.
8> Grows beard and tints it gray to simulate the “look and feel” of Steven Jobs.
7> Keeps buying younger and younger companies.
6> Supermodel eggs? Pffft. Bill’s got him a six-pack of supermodels.
5> “The first rule of Microsoft Club is: Everyone Kisses My Ass In Microsoft Club!”
4> Same as everybody else: Decides to run for President.
3> Ignores his wife to spend time writing inappropriate code for a 16-year-old Apple Lisa.
2> Changed the name of his company to EnormousHard.
1> Joined the Personality Club for Men.