The Top 13 Rejected Global Disaster Movie Premises

13. “Mitzi the Kitten Goes Postal”

12. “Armageddon ’98” — A giant chunk of Bill Gates’s wallet breaks loose and threatens to destroy the earth!

11. “Starring Kevin Costner!”

10. A gigantic bolt of inter-stellar chintz hurtles toward to earth threatening to drape the entire planet in *last* year’s color.

9. “Coffee Shortage!”

8. Mysterious geological forces speed up the Earth’s rotation, flinging everybody off into space — except a group of research scientists in Antarctica, who just get incredibly dizzy.

7. “Acnephobia” — Where will the next one pop up?!

6. “Starbuck Wars” — Luke Warmwater uses the Dark Roast to save the galaxy from over-priced espresso

5. “Flat Grape Fanta!”

4. “Parmageddon” — Desperate chefs race to prepare a mammoth bowl of pasta to thwart a mile-wide cheese boulder hurtling toward Earth.

3. “The Day the List Stood Still”

2. “Killer Bugs” — Handsome computer programmers endure 12 hour work days, risking Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, to save Earth (and a group of buxom supermodels) from deadly bugs from Galaxy Y2K.

1. Fran Drescher in: “Megaphone!”

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