13. The Plague of the Hickeys
12. The Parting of Don King’s Hair
11. And in these gospels did many sentences begin with the word “And,” yet the Net-Grammarians remained silent.
10. The Near-Perfect Slicing of the Pringles
9. Awkward teenage Jesus swinging a date with Nazareth High’s head cheerleader.
8. “Moses then parted the red cheeks and let forth a blast which halted the Egyptians in their path.”
7. First Try: Jesus turns water into Earl Grey tea.
6. “Water into Wine” and “Loaves and Fishes” were pretty good, but “Oregano into Primo Mexican Weed” was *truly* impressive.
5. The Supersizing of the Multitude under the Golden Arches
4. Moses’ mother letting him wander around the desert for forty years without calling or visiting her in Miami Beach even once.
3. Methuselah wedding Anna Nicole Smith at the age of 893.
2. Apprentice Savior Marvin helping a blind man to hear.
1. Jesus becoming a brown-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian, despite having been born a Middle Eastern Jew.
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]