12> [*beep*]
“Hi, this is Bob in Obituaries at the Times. Just checking.”
[*click*]11> Conversations start with, “Say you look a lot like…”
10> TV Guide crossword puzzle clue: Intern Lewinsky. Answer: NEW ER DOC.
9> “Next, a very special guest star on a very special episode of Blossom…”
8> The paparazzi yell, “Hey, you… move! You’re blocking our Ruth Buzzi shots!”
7> No one on eBay is interested in your severed penis.
6> “…and so we figured, hey, the show must go on — why NOT cast you in the role of the ‘Hey, Vern!’ guy?”
5> It’s been months since the FBI last misplaced any documents relating to your case.
4> Despite your utter lack of foolishness, you notice Mr. T pitying you.
3> Your invitation to be on Hollywood Squares says, “Hurry!”
2> Once you let the dogs out, that’s it. They’re gone.
1> No one has shot your wife in the head in *weeks*.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]