12> Glenn Close’s corpse found floating in a hot tub.
11> Always a line for carrots in the produce section.
10> “Another Oscar? For me? Doc, you shouldn’t have!”
9> Time’s Men of the Year: Prince Charles and Ross Perot
8> Within a week of each other, Bob Guccione and Larry Flynt both meet an untimely demise.
7> Cocoa Puffs and Raisinets. Everywhere you look, Cocoa Puffs and Raisinets.
6> Kids start wearing their ears long and droopy.
5> Dozens of checks voided after “Year of the Rat” written in the date.
4> Much better TV reception.
3> You’re overcome by an incredible urge to mate indiscriminately and produce as many offspring as possible. (Or was that the Year Of The NBA Player?)
2> Scientists in the Mary Kay testing lab getting laid off by the dozen.
1> A desperate Al Stewart is forced to use the word “dagnabbit” in a rhyme.
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