NOTE FROM CHRIS: Attorney Johnny Cochran, in his defense of O.J. Simpson, came up with the now-famous rhyme, “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”
12. If your hair has a smell, it must be that gel.
11. If the coach is a dope, he ought to be choked.
10. If the kids are all crotchety, they must have Tamagachi.
9. If she’s loose at the lip, she must be a Tripp.
8. If the Cowboys pay cash, then Irvin didn’t slash.
7. If it was written by Carlin, clean your disk out by mornin’.
6. If the talk show stars Magic, it’s going to be tragic.
5. If you eat that Olean, your pants won’t stay clean.
4. The man’s no criminal, if the stain isn’t seminal.
3. If your tummy needs Beano, place the blame on El Nino.
2. Only *four* worthless tarts, after Ginger departs.
1. If George Michael’s in the stall, better pee in the hall.
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