12> Friggin’ sunglasses keep falling off your neck.
11> “Bad hair days” replaced by much scarier “bad jugular” days.
10> Always get disqualified for missing the first jump in the steeple chase.
9> Headless sex.
8> Cognitive thought with just a spinal cord is like trying to… trying to… DAMMIT!
7> Rectal bong hits just not the same.
6> That doofus in wardrobe uses a staple gun to keep your cape in place.
5> Forced to list your height as 5’2″ on your driver’s license.
4> The subtle joy of picking your nose while driving is gone forever.
3> Have to sneeze through your ass.
2> Hard to achieve that Limp Bizkit look with your red Yankees cap wedged in your armpit.
1> When you wear a party hat, you just look like a dork.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]