The Nose Picking Glossary

* THE KIDDIE PICK: When your by yourself and uninhibently twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is there is no limit.

* CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK: When in the presence of other people, you wrap forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.

* FAKE NOSE SCRATCH: When you make believe you’ve got an itch but your really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.

* MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT: You do it so furiously, and for so long your probably entitled to dessert.

* SURPRISE PICKINGS: When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.

* AUTOPICK: The kind you do in a car when no ones looking.

* PICK YOUR BRAINS: Done in private this is the one where your finger goes in so far it passes the septum.

* PICK AND SAVE: When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and than you pocket the snot so they don’t catch on to what you did.

* PICK AND ROLL: No explanation needed.

* PICK AND FLICK: Ditto.

* PICK AND STICK: You wanted it to be a “PICK AND FLICK” but it stubornly clings to your fingertip.

* PAYDIRT: The kind when you remove a piece of snot so big it improves your breathing by 90%.

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