#10. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
#9. Directions to your doctor’s office include, ‘take a left when you enter the trailer park.’
#8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
#7. The only proctologist in the plan is ‘Gus’ from Roto-Rooter.
#6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is ‘an apple a day.’
#5. Your ‘primary care physician’ is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
#4. ‘The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges’ is not a typo.
#3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming fluid.
#2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn’t come in different colors with little ‘m’s on them.
#1. You ask for Viagra; you get a popsicle stick and duct tape.