– she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it- she thought a quarterback was a refund- she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats- under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics”- she tried to drown a fish- she tripped over a cordless phone- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”- she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind- she got stabbed in a shoot-out- she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DON’T WALK”- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept- at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… she put “Sagittarius”- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes- if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless- she studied for a blood test – and failed- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train- she sold the car for gas money- when she saw the “NC-17” (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she turned around and went home