You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included. People are scared to touch your wife’s bathrobe. Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.You think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy. You’ve ever worn shorts to a funeral home. You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.You’ve ever been too drunk to fish. You’ve ever bought a used cap.You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. You’ve ever used a weedeater indoors.