You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is “What the hell are
you looking at, shiftier?”
You’re probably a redneck if you think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
You won’t stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
You have a special baseball cap for formal occasions.