A redneck goes to a pharmacist and says: “I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need
me some perfection. How much is a pack a’ deem rubbers going to cost me?”
The pharmacist responds: “A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.”
To which the redneck replies: “TACKS! Gad a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by
themselves.”