“I’m glad you all recovered from the president’s press conference last night.
Did you see that press conference? I don’t want to say there’s nothing new
there, but at one point the closed captioning actually said ‘blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.’ …The president was so subdued and there were so many long pauses,
the Washington Post suggested today that he may have been on drugs. Apparently
we are seeing the side effects of a powerful codeine-based smirk inhibitor.”