No one fails a class anymore; he’s merely “passing impaired.”
You don’t have detention; you’re just one of the� exit delayed.”
Your bedroom isn’t cluttered; it’s just “passage restrictive.”
These days, a student isn’t lazy. He’s “energetically declined.”
Your locker isn’t overflowing with junk; it’s just “closure prohibitive.”
Kids don’t get grounded anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”
Your homework isn’t missing; it�s just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”
You’re not sleeping in class; you’re “rationing consciousness.”
You’re not late; you just have a “rescheduled arrival time.”
You’re not having a bad hair day; you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle
syndrome.”
You don’t have smelly gym socks; you have “odor-retentive athletic footwear.”
No one’s tall anymore. He’s “vertically enhanced.”
You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”
You don’t talk a lot… You’re just “abundantly verbal.”
You weren’t passing notes in class. You were “participating in the discreet
exchange of penned meditations.”
You’re not being sent to the principal�s office. You’re “going on a mandatory
field trip to the administrative building.”
It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “the speedy transmission of near-factual
information.”
The food at the school cafeteria isn’t awful. It’s “digestively challenging.”