Osama bin Laden finally gets his due when a one-ton tomahawk
missile lands
on his tent one day. He immediately goes to
hell, where the devil is waiting
for him.
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on
my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to
stay here,
so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do: I’ve got a
couple of people here
who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll
let one of them go, but you have
to take their place. I’ll
even let YOU decide who leaves.”
Osama bin
Laden thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil
opened the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept
diving in and
surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
“No,” said Osama bin Laden, “I don’t think so. I’m not a good
swimmer and
I don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the
next room. In it was the Ayatollah
Khomeini with a sledge-hammer and a
room full of rocks. All
he did was swing that hammer, time after time after
time.
“No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,”
commented Osama bin Laden.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama bin Laden saw Bill
Clinton,
lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head,
and his legs staked
in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was
Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best. Osama bin Laden
looked in disbelief and finally said, “Yeah,
I can handle
this.”
The devil smiled and said, “OK, Monica, you’re free
to go.”