Men are like … Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied and can keep you up
all night long.
Men are like … Cement
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Men are like … Chocolate Bars
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like … Blenders
You think that you need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
Men are like … Coolers
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like … Copiers
You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
Men are like … Curling Irons
They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
Men are like … Government Bonds
They take so long to mature.
Men are like … High Heels
They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like … Horoscopes
They always tell you what to do, but they’re usually wrong.
Men are like … Lawn Mowers
If you’re not pushing one around, you’re usually riding it.
Men are like … Lava Lamps
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like … Laxatives
They irritate the shit out of you.
Men are like … Mascara
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like … Mini Skirts
If you’re not careful they’ll creep up your legs.
Men are like … Noodles
They’re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need
dough.
Men are like … Parking Spots
The good ones are already taken, and the ones that are left are
handicapped or extremely small.
Men are like … Weather
Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like … Plungers
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the
bathroom.
Men are like … Popcorn
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like … Placemats
They only show up when there’s food on the table.
Men are like … Snowstorms
You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or
how long it will last.
Men are like … Used Cars
Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.
Men are like … Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.