Dear Friends,
We are going to live in this cave for quite a while, so we need a few “good neighbor” rules
– Everyone try and keep the cave clean. Do not leave crumbs on the floor.
– It is very rare that I give television interviews, and when I do so, I am trying to scare the most powerful country in the world. So please do not wave at the camera behind my back.
– We all also need to try and keep our beards clean, especially after we eat.
– Last, there has been word that American soldiers are trying to infiltrate our ranks in disguise. To combat this, starting tonight, we will have 24-7 patrol around the cave. The first patrol will be made up of Ahmed, Omar, Muhammad, and Richard.
Love,
Osama