Female Viagra
With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial male problem, a famous
pharmaceutical company is working to redress the balance.
MIRRORCILLIN – A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to four
hours without pausing once.
STOPPANAGGIN – Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their
spouse/boyfriend.
COSMOPOLIRA – Doubles female intelligence to almost simian
levels, allowing ‘facts’ in trash lifestyle magazines to be disputed.
LOGICON – Trials showed that females taking this were able to follow a
proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue effectively without
being diverted into non-relevant postulates such as ‘you don’t love me
anymore’.
PARKATRON – 72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse
park a Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 meters long; 54% achieved this in under
15 minutes.
MAGNATACK – Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear much
larger than in reality – no practical use for this drug has yet been found.
WARDROBIA – Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug can
safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 42% stayed within their credit
limit.
BEERINTULIN – Engenders a female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend
alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.