Why do men fall asleep immediately after sex?
So women can masturbate and finish the job off properly!
That is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.
Did you hear about the banker who’s a great lover?
He knows firsthand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why do men like masturbation?
It’s sex with someone they love.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs, don’t you?
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.
Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy exclaimed, “How sad, a dead bird.”
The other man looked up and said, “where?” {regular readers will remember this as a blond joke… equal time, right?
Why do men love computers?
No matter what mood they’re in, they can still get a floppy in.
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a pub?
9 out of 10 men can find a pub.
How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to actually change it, and 3 friends to brag to about how he screwed.