Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?A: Cut the rope.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt?A: The bucket.Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?A: In a cemetery.Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 8 feet of ground?A: Because deep down they’re really good people.Q: You are in a room with Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and a lawyer. You have a gun and only two bullets. Who do you shoot?A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he’s dead.Q: What’s the difference between God and a lawyer?A: God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.Q: Why did the post office discontinue their lawyer stamps?A: People didn’t know which side to spit on.