A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by his bedside. “Jack, I’ve got
to confess. I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years and I’m the father of
your daughter, Hillary. On top of that, I’ve been stealing from the firm for a
decade.”
“Relax,” says Jack, “and don’t think another thing about it. I’m the
one who put arsenic in your martini.”