– I need more money, power, and less SHIT from you people.
– We’ll get along fine as soon as you realize I’m God.
– Discourage inbreeding; ban country music.
– Life is short. Don’t be a dick.
– Yoo hoo!! Here I am, at the bottom of your purse!
– Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr. Right
– To some its a six-pack, to me it’s a support Group
– I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that.
– I majored in philosophy, would you like fries w/that.
– I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear
– I have PMS and a gun. Did you have a problem with that!?!
– I’m 17. Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get
out of my way.
– I haven’t found Mr Right but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy
and Mr Wrong
– You’re just jealous cause the voices talk to me.
– It’s Miss Bitch to you.
– How do you keep an idiot amused? Turn over. . . (on both sides
of keychain)
– I suffer from PMS… Putting up with Men’s Shit
– If you’re rich, I’m single.
– Men suffer from PMS too… Pretending to be Macho Studs
– If you shower in your clothes, it shows you’re crazy. If you
shower nude, it show’s your nuts!!!
– I’m immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD…
but I’m FUN.
– If you don’t like my driving, then get off the sidewalk!
– If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna piss you off. – or –
If it has tires or tits, it’s gonna piss you off.
– Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every
great woman is some guy staring at her ass!
– Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass
– Birthdays only come once a year… aren’t you glad you’re not
a birthday?
– To some it’s half empty, To some it’s half full. To me it’s
time for a beer run!
– (Written in really tiny writing) Nosy little fucker, aren’t
you?
– (This is a visual gag. It’s a condom inside plastic with the
caption) “In case of emergency, break glass.” (What’s really
funny is in tiny writing underneath) “Not recommended for use”
– I am so broke, I can’t even pay attention.
– I am not a BITCH… I am *the* BITCH.
– I was put on this planet to make your life miserable.
– I’m in touch with my inner bitch.
– I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol
level).
– I do what the voices in my head tell me. Looking for Mr. Right
*crossed out* Mr. Wonderful *crossed out* Mr. Coffee!
– Heartbreaker, looking for next victim.
– In God we trust. All others we monitor.
– Not all women are annoying… some are dead.
– The nuns made me dress this way.
– You! Out of the gene pool!
– You must be this tall to ride this ride.
– Moody Bitch; seeking a caring, and understanding guy to dump
on.
B.I.T.C.H. = Beautiful Individual That Can Handle anything!