— She’s uglier than homemade soap.
— Your momma’s so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it
said ‘To be continued.’
— He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
— Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits.
— The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead
— Any insulting statement is always followed by “bless his/her heart�.
Example: “She’s dumber than a door knob, bless her heart�.