If God made software …
… It would always work, and work perfectly every time.
… It would have every feature a user REALLY needed.
… The software would never expire or go out of date.
… It would come with automatic back-up and rescue utilities.
… It would recommend votive candles for installation, training, and
support.
… Upgrades could be installed with a little extra effort on the user’s
part, but would come with built-in support.
… Help would be available 24 x 7 at no charge.
… Support calls would never have busy signals or voice menus.
… Support for the product would never be discontinued.
… It wouldn’t be junk.
… It would be compliant for all millenia.
… Help for one application would work for all other applications.
… Games would teach us important life lessons, too.
… It would be immune to viruses (and XXX web sites).
… It would work on every hardware platform and every user configuration.
… The software would work particularly well when the hardware was
failing.
… You wouldn’t need any kind of special peripheral device or internet
connection.
… You should always have enough memory to run it.
… A monopoly would be a good thing.