How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four hundred and sixty-two:
- Twelve to investigate Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb,
- twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry,
- sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,
- thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,
- fifty-three to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb,
- forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead,
- and two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything), on the Internet.