Help Wanted

As you are probably aware, if voting results in Florida stand as they are now,
George W. Bush will be our next president. This will have catastrophic results
in our not so vital (dispensable entertainment industry).

Barbara Streisand, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon, Whoopie Goldberg, Alec
Baldwin – among many others have sworn to leave the country if George Bush is
elected president.

And this is where you can help. We need volunteers to help pack and load
moving vans. We also need airfare for these irreplaceable national treasures so
they can relocate before they change their minds.

For the cost of a small SUV, you can sponsor one of these celebrities and
their unfortunate relocation. You will know that your efforts are helping when
you receive postcards, letters, and pictures from your chosen “refugee� as they
learn to become useful citizens in the Third World country of their choosing.

You will help, won’t you? It costs so little but it means so much.
Call 1-800-deport a lib. Operators are standing by. Major credit cards are
accepted.

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