* Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets
static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can’t hear
them over the static.
* Make up your own language. Speak it.
* Say, “This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have
an emergency?”
* Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a
meatball sub.
* Dial the phone and say, “Hey! I lent you 50 bucks. You better
pay up or else I’m gonna come over there and hurt you! “
* Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn’t ringing.
* Say, “Moe’s tavern Moe speaking.”
* Ask him/her if he/she would like a magazine or newspaper
subscription.
* Communicate only through Morse code.
* Try to sell the telemarketer something.
* Ask him/her if he/she can smell bacon. Insist that there is a
strong scent of bacon over the phone.
* Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like,
“They’ll never catch me again,” “No! Not the jacket! No, no,
no!” After saying one of these mutter incoherently.
* Make him/her dance for a sale. Claim that you won’t buy
because you couldn’t see him/her dance.
* Make him/her sing to get a sale.
* Pretend to be really interested. Then say, “No.”
* Engage him/her in an “intellectual” conversation on an
extremely boring subject.
* Say nothing until he/she hangs up.
* Say, “I told you. I don’t know where your dog is!” Then hang
up.
* After he/she hangs up, use *69 or Caller ID to get the phone
number. Call the telemarketer.
* Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number. Claim that
you need some time to think, and that you’ll get back to them.