Employee Evaluation

Name: ________________________

Date: __________________

Position: ___________________

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Knowledge:

[ ] The Son of a Bitch Really Knows His Shit!

[ ] Knows Just Enough To Be Dangerous.

[ ] Only Has Half a Brain and is Dangerous.

[ ] Fucking Brain Damaged, His Coffee Cup Has a Higher IQ.

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Accuracy:

[ ] Does Excellent Work If Not Pre-occupied With Pussy.

[ ] Pretty Good; Only Occasionally Blows it Out His Ass.

[ ] Has to Take His Shoes Off To Count Higher Than Ten.

[ ] Couldn’t Count His Balls And Get The Same Number Twice.

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Attitude:

[ ] Extremely Cooperative (If You Kiss His Ass Daily).

[ ] Brown Noser In Good Standing.

[ ] Often Pisses Off Co-Workers, Thinks He Owns the Damn Place

[ ] Doesn’t Give A Shit, Never Did, Never Will.

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Reliability:

[ ] Really A Dependable CockSucker.

[ ] Works So Hard That He Has To Take An Extra Day Off Each Week.

[ ] Can Rely On Him To Be The First One Out The Door.

[ ] Totally Fucking Worthless.

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Appearance:

[ ] Extremely Neat, Even Combs His Pubic Hair.

[ ] Looks Great On His Days Off.

[ ] Dirty, Filthy, Smelly Son Of a Bitch.

[ ] Flies Leave Fresh Dog Shit To Follow Him.

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Performance:

[ ] Goes Like A Son Of A Bitch…If There’s Money In It For Him.

[ ] Does All Kinds of Good Shit At Evaluation Time.

[ ] Works Well After An Enema.

[ ] Couldn’t Do Less If He Were In A Coma.

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Leadership:

[ ] Carries A Chain saw And Gets Good Results.

[ ] Macho Attitude, Commands Total Disgust.

[ ] Dog Fasted For Three Day Last Time He Brought Home Pork Chops.

[ ] Mother Teresa Told Him to Get Fucked.

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I UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE BEEN COUNSELED AND UNDERSTAND MY RIGHTS UNDER THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974. I FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM FUCKED UP AND WORTHLESS AS A FOOTBALL BAT, AND I WILL MAKE SOME KIND OF ATTEMPT TO CORRECT MY OBVIOUS DEFICIENCES.

_______________________________ Employee Signature (If He Can Write)

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