Three friends die in a car crash and go to heaven. At the gates of heaven, St.
Peter tells them that they can stay in heaven as long as they don’t step on a
duck. If they do, says St. Peter, then the duck will quack loudly and will make
a lot of noise. So the men agree, thinking, “How hard could it be to avoid a
duck?” As soon as St. Peter lets them in, they see ducks everywhere.
The first man, Jim, immediately steps on a duck. The duck makes a lot of
noise, and as punishment, God comes and chains him to an annoying idiot who
never stops talking.
The second guy, Steve, steps on a duck a little bit later, and his punishment
are being chained to an ugly old woman.
The third guy, Bob, is very careful and manages not step on a duck. Finally
God comes up to him and chains a beautiful woman to him. “Wow”, says Bob, “what
did I do to deserve this?”
Says God, “You didn’t do anything, and she stepped on a duck.”