One cucumber was telling another “my life is miserable, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone slices me up and puts me in a salad.”
The other cucumber said “yeah well, my life is worse, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts me in a jar with vinegar and garlic and pickles me.”
A penis was listening to this conversation and chimes in, “my life is worse than both of yours, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts a bag over my head and makes me do pushups ’til I puke.”