Deer hunting season is coming up… Here are the secret diary entries from last years deer hunt.1:00 am – Alarm clock rings.2:00 am – Hunting partner arrives – drags you out of bed.3:00 am – Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup.3:05 am – Leave for the deep woods. 3:15 am – Drive back home and pick up gun. 3:30 am – Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 am – Set up camp – forgot the tent. 4:30 am – Head into the woods. 6:05 am – See eight deer. 6:06 am – Take aim and squeeze trigger. 6:07 am – ”Click”.6:08 am – Load gun while watching deer go over the hill. 8:00 am – Head back to camp. 9:00 am – Still looking for camp.10:00 am – Realize you don’t know where camp is. Noon – Fire gun for help – eat wild berries. 12:15 pm – Ran out of bullets – eight deer come back. 12:20 pm – Strange feeling in stomach. 12:30 pm – Realize you ate poison berries. 12:45 pm – Rescued. 12:55 pm – Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. 3:00 pm – Arrived back in camp. 3:30 pm – leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 pm – Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 pm – Load gun – leave camp again. 5:00 pm – Empty gun on squirrel that’s bugging you. 6:00 pm – Arrive at camp – see deer grazing in camp. 6:01 pm – Load gun. 6:02 pm – Fire gun. 6:03 pm – One dead pickup truck. 6:05 pm – Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer. 6:06 pm – Repress strong desire to shoot partner. 6:07 pm – Fall into fire. 6:10 pm – Change clothes – throw burned ones into fire. 6:15 pm – Take pickup – leave partner and his deer in the woods. 6:25 pm – Pickup boils over – hole shot in block. 6:26 pm – Start walking. 6:30 pm – Stumble and fall – drop gun in the mud. 6:35 pm – Meet bear. 6:36 pm – Take aim. 6:37 pm – Fire gun – blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:38 pm – Make mess in pants. 6:39 pm – Climb tree. 9:00 pm – Bear departs – wrap %&*$#@ gun around tree. Midnight – Home at last. Next day – Watch football games on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces – place in envelope and mail to Game Warden with very clear instructions on where to place it.