101. Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door
screaming, “Let me in. Let me in.” Get mad at your roommate for locking
you out.
102. Talk on the phone a lot. Don’t pick up the receiver.
103. Talk to your roommate but don’t let any sound come out. Get mad at
him/her for not listening to you.
104. Ask your roommate if Bob, your invisible friend, can stay the night.
105. Ask your roommate if he/she can turn down the music; Bob has a
headache.
106. Start a brothel.
107. Constantly slip and fall — on your carpet.
108. Post a sign in your bathroom that reads: “If it’s yellow let it
mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” Check every time to make sure he/she
follows it.
109. Invite the Dean to sleep over.
110. Invite the school President to sleep over.
111. Invite your roommate to sleep over.
112. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your
roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything.
113. Walk into walls.
114. Leave little notes in the shower for him/her.
115. Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, “I’m melting, I’m
melting!”
116. When your roommate has friends over, get under your covers and stare
at them through a little hole in the covers. Use a telescope.
117. When you leave the room, put on a screen saver that says, “I’m
watching you.”
118. Make a care package for your roommate. Leave the room and ride back
and forth outside your window saying, “Speedy Delivery!” until he/she
comes out.
119. Move very stiffly and grin. Tell your roommate that you’ve turned
into Gumby.
120. Open a can of HIS beans or spaghetti, empty it into his bed and then
replace the can in his cupboard.
121. Crumble a few packs of crisps into his bed…..they take ages to
clear off again.
122. Replace the fuses in his electrical equipment with a lower rating
(useful, as my house mate can’t wire a plug up).
123. Move all of his furniture outside.
124. Eat jewelry. Accessorize food.
125. Smash your roommate’s favorite cassettes and wrap the tape around
your naked body, running around the apartment screaming “Fly, be Free!
Fly, be Free!”
126. Watch TV at least 15 hours a day. Before doing so, turn the set
around so it faces the wall. Watch the back of it.
127. Invite your roomie to play catch out in the yard. Every time you
catch the ball, catch it near your head. Fall to the ground screaming.
128. Frantically scribble something on paper. When finished, eat it. Start
again.
129. Complain about your menstrual cramps. Loudly. This works best, of
course, if you happen to be male.
130. Make some rice for dinner. Pause suddenly, spit out a mouthful and
scream “Maggots! Maggots!” Blame your roommate. When done, make more rice
and finish eating.
131. Try to convince your roommate that you are indeed Louis XVI of
France. Every time he grabs a knife or cuts something scream in terror and
go running out of the apartment clutching your neck.
132. Pretend you are Jan Brady. (Marsha Marsha Marsha!)
133. When talking to him/her, alternate between being exceedingly polite
and God awfully rude every sentence.
134. Take all of your roommate’s furniture and build a fort. Guard the
fort for an entire weekend.