* Must take 63 swings to the head from Mark McGwire.
* All of Clinton’s interns must now be former “Golden Girls.”
* Arrange for him to be President of France, where they’re into that stuff.
* The place: San Quentin. The cell mate: Hillary.
* Must deliver next State of the Union speech while wearing “the dress.”
* Every day from 9am to 10am, ordinary citizens may come to the White House
and sass him.
* At public appearances, “Hail to the Chief” replaced by cheesy porn movie
music.
* Must issue formal apology to Ted Kennedy for giving philandering politicians
everywhere a bad name.
* See Bobbitt, John Wayne.
* No “Xena” for two weeks.