Category: yo mama

Your mama is soo fat that when she jumped into the ocean the
whales started singing “We are family”

Yo Mama so fat, you have to take two trains and a bus to get on her good side.

Your ma,ma is so fat that she fell in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.

Your momma so fat she asked for a water bed and they threw a blanket over the pacific ocean

Your mama is so fat that her shadow weighs 10 pounds.

Yo mama so ugly she went to a haunted house and they offered her a job.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a red dress, little kids run after her
cause they think she is the kool aid man!

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said
“Sorry, no professionals.”

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a
treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla
cookies.

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her
ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for
Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the
surveillence cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to
get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she’d have her own
projects.

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12
hours for a quote!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!

Yo mama so ugly Ted Danson wouldn’t date her!

Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the
pound.

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so
that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo mama so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a
scarecrow

Yo mama so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water

Yo mama so ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out
with an application

Yo mama so ugly she look like she fell out the ugly tree and hit
every limb on the way down.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks by a toilet it flushes itself.

Yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her mom

Yo mama so ugly that when she stcks her head out of the car
window the police say “No dogs allowed to drive!”

Yo mama so ugly I’ve seen better face on a can of dog food

Yo mama so ugly I flushed the toilet and she said “You just
flushed my picture”

Yo mama so ugly she asked me what my sign was I said “stop”

Yo mama so ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out

Yo mama so ugly she makes her picture every time she goes to the
bathroom

Yo mama so ugly when she takes a shower it’s like “Gorillas in
the Mist”

Yo mama so ugly ugly when she put her ear to her bowl of rice
crispies to hear snap, crackle, pop, all she could hear was
“lets get the hell out of here”

Yo mama so ugly when she goes camping the bears light a fire to
keep HER away!

Yo mama so ugly she wears her halloween mask everyday.

Yo mama so ugly she made profit for the “idea” of her costume!

Yo mama so ugly when she goes Halloween shoppin’, People try to
buy her!

Yo mama so ugly when she can scare a hungry bulldog off the back
of a meatwagon.

Yo mama so ugly when the doctor gave her a face lift, he got a
hernia.

Yo mama so ugly when she played in the sandbox, the cat tried to
cover her up.

Yo mama so ugly she models for Kibbles and Bitts.

Yo mama so ugly when she was born they slapped the wrong end.

yo mamma is so ugly that she has to be coverded in bacon to get a guys attention!!

your mother so fat that when she puts her lip stick on she has to use a paint roller!

yo mamas so bald mr.cleans jealous.

yo mamas so fat she jumped in the ocean and the whales said we are family.

yo mamas so dumb the weather man said it would be chilly out and she went out with a bowl and spoon and said wheres my chilly.

yo mamas so fat she saw a yellow car and said theres my twinkie

Wuz de night befo Crismus

An all ober de hood

Everybody wuz sleepin’

Day wuz sleepin’ good.

Everbody wuz sleepin’

all tight in they beds

Whilst Thunderbird Wine

Danced in they heads

I was passed out on de flo

Right next to my Ma

When I heard such a fuss

I thinked “It must be de law!!”

I looked out tru de barz

dat covered my do

Spectin’ de sherif

with a warrant fo sho!

Now ober de years

Sanny Claws, he be white.

But it lookin’ like us bros

got a black Sanny dis night

Now what I did see

made me say “LAWD Lood at dat!”

It was a huge watermellon cadi

pulled by dwarf rats

Faster than a po-lice car

True de air he came

an whupped up on dem warf rats

an called emm by name.

On Leroy, on Kendrick,

On Jontarious Lee, on Falacious

They was a sight to see

He didn’t go down no chimbly

-just picked de lock on my do’

An I says to myself-

“Shit! He done did befo’!”

He had a big sack

full of presents I spect

With Air Jordans and Fake Gold

to go ’round my neck.

But he didn’t leave any presents

-just started steelin’ my shit

He got my drugs, my stoled guns

an even my burglars kit!

With his sack on his back

Out de winder he flew

I sho woulda catched ’em,

but he stole my knife too!

He jumped on dat watermelon cadi

and pulled out a switch

He was gone in a second

dat son-of-a-bitch

I sho hope nex year

a white Sanny we git

‘Cause de black Sanny Claws

jus’ ain’t wuf a shit!