Category: yo mama

Your momma is so fat . . .
She puts mayo on aspirin.

your momma is so short she comedet suiside by juping off a curb

your mommas so fat she uses a matress as a tampon

your mammas so fat,that she had to go through the car wash twice to get completely cleen!

YOUR MOMMA IS SO BLACK THAT SHE CAN WORK FOR THAT OREOS FACTORY!

Yo Mamma so stanky she give sour dough bread a yeast infection.

your mama so ugly she cant even get a blind date

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it’s up, put it down.
3. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Get rid of your cat.
5. Sunday = TV Sports.
6. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
7. You have too many shoes.
8. Crying is blackmail.
9. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
10. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
11. Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
12. Simple “yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers.
13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
16. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
17. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done — not both.
18. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
19. You have enough clothes.
20. Men are from earth; women are from earth. Deal with it.

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Your mama’s house is so raggedy, when I rang the door bell, the
toilet flushed.

Yo momma is such an idiot that she got locked in the bathroom and got so scared she peed her pants.

Ya mums so fat when she fell over she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.