Category: yo mama

Yo Mama is so stupid, she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses,
solar-powered flashlight, water-proof tea bag, and condom with
sweat holes.

Yo mamma’s so ugly when she looks out of the window she gets arrested.

Your mama is so poor, her TV only has two channles-ON and OFF!

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she tried to fit into a pair of ‘BVD’s and by the time she got it on, it spelled ‘BOULEVARD’.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, she went to the beauty parlor and it took her three hours just to get an estimate.

Yo’ Mama is so old, she went to a museum and they tried to claim her as an exhibit.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo’ Mama is so old, when God said ‘let there be light’, she was there to flick the switch.

Yo’ Mama is so dumb, she threw a rock at the ground and missed, tripped over the wire of a cordless phone, and got hit by a parked car.

Your momma is a carpenters dream . . .
Easy to screw in.

Yo mommma is so fat, that the last time she wore a shirt with a target on it, a helicopter landed on it.

your mamas so fat she jumped in the ocean and the whales started to sing “we are family”

your momma so hairy whan she goes to the woods bigfoot jumps uot with a polaroid and starts taking pictures

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

What’s the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
‘Hey y’all… Watch this!’

How To Pick Up A Chick In Arkansas:
Hey Baby! Nice tooth.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You think the last three words of the national
anthem is ‘start your engines.’

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
One of your kids was born on a pool table.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
If you refer to the fifth grade as, “your senior year”.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You think the stock market has fence around it.

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the
dump and bring back more than you took.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Your grandfather died and left everything to his
widow… but she can’t touch it ’til she’s fourteen.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
The figurines on top your wedding cake were wearing overalls.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Your favorite restaurant has a sawdust floor

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’ve ever burped and killed a fly

You Might Be A Redneck If…
There were dogs in the church on your wedding day

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’re saving up to gravel your driveway.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’ve ever bought a used cap.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You turn the sprinkler on and tell the kids
it’s a water park.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’ve ever had to have a wrecker pull your car
out of a pothole in your driveway.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Your wedding cake was made by Sarah Lee

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’ve ever had a dream about beef jerky.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Winn-Dixie catered your wedding.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Your not actually able to read the Richard Petty Story,
but you sure like to look at the pictures.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
You’ve ever tried to pass an entire funeral procession.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
Your driving a vehicle with no original body parts.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
In preparation for a romantic evening, you stop by the
grocery store for a bottle of Mr. Bubble.

You Might Be A Redneck If…
The fireworks stand gives you a volume discount.

Your momma is so fat, she was swimming in the ocean and all the whales started singing, “we are family”.

Your mama is so black that when she gets out the car the oil light comes on.