Yo mama

yo mama is so fat she uses the ocean as her swimming pool

yo mama so poor when i walked in her house and stepped on a roach she yelled wheres my food

yo mama so big she uses a light pole as her toothpick

yo mama so fat she sees us as ants

yo mama so black when she steps outside it already night time

Fat Mama Stuff

Yo mama’s so fat…

…she keeps elephant putty in her purse.
…a car hit her and she yelled, “WHO THREW THAT?”
…she saw a sign that said “Say No to Crack” and it reminded
her to pull up her pants.
…she can take a shower without getting her feet wet.
…she lives in two ZIP codes and nobody will date her.
…she wore a watch on each wrist and they were in different
time zones.
…she walked through the trailer park and caused $10,000,000 in
damages.
…she doesn’t have to dial 1 and the area code when calling
long-distance.
…she looks like she’s smuggling a Winnebago.
…they tried to calculate her weight in gold–and made Fort
Knox bankrupt.
…her talking scale lied to her.
…she can drive in the diamond carpool lane without anyone else
being in the car.
…she caused a rectal eclipse.
…she ate a Dairy Queen burger without chewing.
…the photo machine in the mall charged her for 5 people.
…her blood goes through her veins saying, “Excuse me, pardon
me, comin’ through, gangway!”
…her cooler doubles as a bedpan.
…she walked in the bank and they turned off the security
cameras.
…the Mona Lisa saw her and lost her smile.
…they use her lard to make artificial popcorn butter.
…her role as Juliet in high school completely ruined the play
— not to mention the school.
…she works on a wrecking crew but doesn’t operate any machines.

Ya mummas so everything!

– Ya mums so fat she went on the scale & it said’one person at a time please.’

– Ya mums so fat when she tried to dial 999 the slim fast brigade came running.

– Ya mums so small when she jumped off the toilet seat she sprained her ankle.

– Ya mums so small she needed a 5 ft ladder & a pair of 6 inch shoes to kiss her son.

– Ya mums so skinny she can hula hoop with a cheerio.

– Ya mums so skinny she ate a meatball & thought she was pregnant.

– Ya mums so fat she got stuck in the grand canyon.

– Ya mums nose is so ugly it makes Micheal Jackson look good.

– Ya mums so fat she ate a chocolate sunday & left out the cherry to lose weight.

By Saj Madiar