Category: thoughts

Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is? Why do ‘tug’boats push their barges? Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already there? Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?

I love playing cards with children. They can’t tell you’re dealing off the bottom of the deck.Remember: you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar… Of course, how you spend your leisure time is your business.A man’s best friend is his dog. That’s assuming you want a friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper.If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it called a “building” when it is already built? Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together?

What is pink, flies and has a helmet? Apig flying a jet fighter wereing a helmet!

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? If you yelled at your plants instead of talking to them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? Just “before” someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure? Is there another word for synonym? Why call then hot water heaters if the water is already hot? If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? War doesn’t determine who’s right, just who’s left Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it? Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? How come abbreviated is such a long word?

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.You can’t have everything, where would you put it?Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.When you’re swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that’s a moray!A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.