How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 sylables in the word “monosylabic”? If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
Category: thoughts
Toast and Cats
Toast always lands butter-side down.
And cats always land on their feet.
What would happen if you spread butter on a cat’s back and dropped it out of a window?
Do infants enjoy infancy as
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How is it possible to have a civil war? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Does ‘virgin wool’ come from
Does ‘virgin wool’ come from sheep the shepherd hasn’t caught yet? If the front of your car says ‘DODGE’, do you really need a horn? What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why not modern Latin: VENI,
Why not modern Latin: VENI, VEDI, VISA – I came, I saw, I shopped.If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.Strange! No one ever says “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Since Americans throw rice at
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
Why is it called rush
Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow? Why do they call then express lanes when during rush hour everything is stopped? Why is abreviation such a long word? If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad? Why do they report power outages on TV?
If space is a vacuum,
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why is the word “abbreviate”
Why is the word “abbreviate” so long? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? What is another word for “thesaurus”? When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in? If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!
When I’m not in my
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. I intend to live forever — so far, so good! Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
Growing old is mandatory, but
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we’re already there? If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?