Category: signs of our times

In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store:

“15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”

In front of a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.” Sign in a realtor’s office: “Lots for little.” Sign in a shoe store: “Come in and have a fit.” Sign in a maternity clothes store: “We are open on labor day.” Sign in a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

In an Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find
they are best in the long run.

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:

“38 years on the same spot.”

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

Guaranteed to work
throughout its useful life.

Seen on a virgin’s tombstone:

“Returned To Sender Unopened”

On a bumper sticker:

Honk if you want to see my finger.

In an East African newspaper:

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: “A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.”Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: “Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn’t worth anything – gas is!”Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: “Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.” At a restaurant in New York: “Tip-ing is not a city in China.”

Here is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: “Snickers, 5 for 1.00$.(limit 4)”On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: “Safety ladder, climb at own risk.” Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA “Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!” Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: “Run like Anything!” Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) “Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends.”

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