Category: sex

One day Joe decided to go enjoy the outdoors with a round of golf. He was doing great untill the last hole when he sliced one way left into a field of beautiful buttercups.
Still upset about his lousy shot he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the flowers were. He carefully walked through the field making sure not to step on any of the buttercups. Then all of the sudden, a voice from above says “Joe thank you so much for being so carefull not to step on my flowers.”” “”Who’s there?”” asks Joe. “”It’s me

Two parents take their 6 year old son to a nude beach. Upon arrival the parents tell their son to go play. After about 10 minutes of the sons playing, he returns to his mother and asks her why all the other women have a bigger rack then her. She simply replys that the bigger the package the dumber the person. The boy runs off to go play again and returns after another 10 minutes and asks his mother why the other men have a bigger member then his dad. The mother again replys the bigger the package the dumber the person. The boy runs off and returns in five minutes and excitedly tells his mother, “MOM

A little boy asked his mom if he could take a shower with her, she said “Sure just don’t look up and don’t look down.”” So they get in the shower and the boy looked up and said “”mom what are those?”” She said “”Those are my headlights.”” Then the boy looked down and asked “”What is that?”” She said “”That is my grass.”” Then they get out of the shower and the boy asked his father if he could take a shower with him

There is a king and he calls a american guy a italian guy and a chinese guy to come to his palace

“my wife wants to have a blue baby”” he says.

So the american guy goes in

A man walked up to a hooker and asked if she could show him how to have sex, she asked how much will you pay me, and he said, “all i have is a $
1.80″”. “”Alright then

One nite this prostitute, was walking down the street. In Reno Nevada. And then she decided too stop bye this Tatoo parlor. As she sat down the tatooist asked her what she would like and where on her body would she like it. Then she said I would like Head of Mike Tyson, and Buster Douglas, put on the inner theighs of my legs. Then thats what the tatooist does. Then after that the prostitute walked out and started to walk down the Street some more,then she saw this bar, and got a few drinks. She got a little “carried”” away. Because she drank about 5 Screw drivers. Then she stumbled out of the bar

One day this little boys mother was about to take a shower and the boy said “Mommy

A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school.

Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years old.

One night he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.

As you might expect things start to heat up. The big guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below, so he tells his girlfriend to whisper:
“lettuce”” if she wants it harder and “”tomato”” if she wants a new position.
“”Lettuce!!! Tomato!!! Lettuce!!! Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!! Tomato!!! She screams.
Lettuce!!! Tomato!!! Whoa.

PULL IT OUT!!! PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

I can’t get pregnant.

Then the little brother shouts up.
“”Hey

A boy in a 2nd grade class was given an assignment by his teacher.
The assignment read as follows.
“Pick Four sentences that you hear along the way home and bring them to school tomorrow to recite””
The young boy decided that he will pick his sentences from people on the road.
He walks down a street in the projects and hears a man arguing with his wife- “”shut the fuck up before i kill you””
He writes that sentence down
Then he hears a girl tell a boy on the corner “” who the fuck do you think you are bitch””
He writes that sentence down
Then he sees a group of kids playin a superhero game. He hears ‘ You know who i am? Superman!!
He writes it down
He hears a couple say “” Yea

Hey i was hangin out a friends house the other day when he called up this girl on the phone and asked,”Hey baby!!….. If I was a squirrel

a guy goes to the doctor and says “doc i have the weirdest problem. my um penis has turned orange.
“”ok may i take a look at the problem”” says the doctor
the guy pulles down his pants and showes him. and sure enough his entire dick is bright orange.
well says the doctor

one day a boy and his sister were about to go to bed when his sister says “can i sleep with you””