Category: sex

… From those who should know …all questions were answered by kids, age 5-10

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED

“Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy,8)

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife” (Tom,5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE??

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike,9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE??

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)

“Neveb kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally,9)

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them” (Lynette, 9)

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE

“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger,9)

“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE “

If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.”(Christine, 9)

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS

“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” (Dave, 8)

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ is on television.” (Anita, 6)

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.”(Bobby, 8)

“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.”(Regina, 10)

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava,8)

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU “

Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo,9)

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad,8)

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are on fire.” (Christine, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”

“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

“You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)

“It might help to watch soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you…That’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8)

One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, “Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door.”So the guy says, “Well, give me some examples.”So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, “Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn’t for me. Then she said, “The second way is if a man fumbles around and can’t seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn’t for me either.” Then she said, “Honey, how do you unlock your door?”He then proceeded to say, “Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock.”

Taco Bell- think outside the bun

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.
When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess.
The husband says, “I will love you no matter what it is, tell me.”

So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat cheated.

The husband says, “I can deal with that.”

He takes off her shirt and shouts, “Boy! You are small, but I love you
anyway.”

The husband says, “I have something to confess also.”

She says, “No matter what I will still love you.”

He says, “Okay. I am built like a baby down there.”

She says, “I can deal with that.”

So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she
finally gets up.

She says, “I thought you said you were built like a baby?”

He says, “Yeah….7lbs, 21inches.”

There was a fellow talking to his buddy one day. The fellow said, ‘I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.’ His buddy said, ‘I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!’ So, the first fellow did just that. The next day his buddy asked, ‘Well, did you take my suggestion? How’d it turn out?’ ‘She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours’!’

There were 101 nuns in a convent, Mother Superior and 100 Sisters. One sunday, all of the nuns were kept in after praying. Mother Superior stood before them and announced that there had been a MAN in the convent last night.

99 Nuns went “Oh no!””
1 Nun went “”Tee Hee Hee!””

Mother Superior then went on say that a condom had been found in the corridor.

99 Nuns went “”Oh NO!!””
1 Nun went “”Tee Hee Hee!!””

Then

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about ‘courting’ from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister
and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. “Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while

Early one Christmas morning, Suzy, a shapely young woman was sitting by the fireplace eagerly but patiently awaiting the arrival of old St.Nick. After a few hours and even a few more heavily laced bourbon egg-nogs she heard a noise on the roof and sure enough Santa was soon standing before her.
“Have you been naughty or nice this year?”” he asked.
Suzy had been nice all damn year and was ready to do the other thing. While Santa placed his gifts around the tree Suzy was busy taking off her blouse. He turned around and heard her say “”Santa…can you please stay?””
Thinking of all the childeren who were awaiting presents

Once there was a nun that rode the bus every night precisely at 8:30pm. she rode the same bus with the same bus driver.And every night she would get off the bus at the same place. Well, one night there was this guy who got on the bus. He noticed this nun sitting there.He started thinking to himself,”man that nun is really hot!”” And every night for a week he rode the same bus at the same time and he would see this nun.After a week he was really horny because of this nun. So one night after the nun got off the bus he went up to the bus driver. “”man that nun is hot. I would love to get a piece of ass from her

A man was going to go on vacation,and in order to make sure that his wife didn’t have sex with anybody else, he went to buy her a present. He walked into a small store on the corner, and told the owner his situation.
The owner felt that he had a solution, and pulled out a small box. Inside the box was a dildo.The man said” So what

Two dicks were sitting together one day and talking. The first one says, “I like my master

There was this guy who was on a safari to Africa, and gets caught by a tribe. The leader asks him,”Do you want Hisoku or death?”” The guy opts for Hisoku thinking it’ll be better than death.

The tribespeople strip him